Anne Tenna
Resident Turkey Chef

HOPEFULLY, A CHARRED TURKEY IS NOT SOMETHING YOU’LL HAVE TO CONTEND WITH THIS THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY.

BUT IF PERCHANCE IT IS, HERE’S MY FAVORITE RATIONALIZATIONS WHY IT SHOULDN’T BE THAT BIG OF A DEAL:

1. Salmonella won’t be a concern.

2. Everyone will rave about your gourmet Cajun blackened turkey.

3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year.

4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation in the face of hunger..

5. Pets won’t bother to pester you for scraps.

6. No one will overeat.

7. The smoke alarm was due for a test, anyway.

8. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

9.You’ll get to the desserts even quicker!

10. After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.

11. The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.

12. You won’t have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.

13. It will give you a good excuse to try that trendy new Sushi place.

14. You could always use the carcass as a speed bump.

15. You’ll never be expected to cook Thanksgiving dinner again!